Things you probably shouldn’t say to your kids

duck on grass

image

We were walking to the shops today.
Jason. Look dad, a chicken
Dad. no mate, that’s a duck
J. A duck?
D. Well,  it looks like a duck
J. Look like a duck?
D. It sounds like a duck
J. Sounds like a duck
D. Tastes a little bit like chicken
J. Taste like chicken?
D. A little bit. But it’s a duck
J. Duck

A little bit later a dog barked.

J. What’s that dad?
D. What do you think it is?
J. It’s a dog.
D. Yep that’s right, it’s a dog. Well, it sounds like a dog (we couldn’t see it)
J. Sounds like a dog
D. So it’s probably a dog
J. Taste like dog?
D. Taste like chicken actually (I don’t know why I said that)
J. Mmmm dog, taste like chicken

A little later, we’re at the shopping center, a guy walks past with his dog. Jason says to mum, “look mum, dog”
Mum. Yes, dog
J. Tastes like chicken!
M: what?
D. Errr…

My First Born

“I’m going to take a picture of my firstborn and use age progression software to figure out what he’ll look like when he’s 16. Then I’m going to frame the picture and keep it as a centrepiece in our house, something he’ll grow up looking at. Then when the appropriate time comes, and he realises that the picture is of him, I’m going to try and convince him that he is a time traveller.”

Not mine, but I like it

update: this was first posted back in 2010. Years later (2014) I came back across it and found that such software is in development
2014-04-09 Washington.edu/news/… age-progression-software

example of age progression software
A single photo of a child (far left) is age progressed (left in each pair) and compared to actual photos of the same person at the corresponding age (right in each pair).