Today saw me spend some quality time with my mother down from the bush. Now I really enjoy spending time with her when she comes to Sydney, but sometimes she does push the boundary a bit… Like today…
Today was one of those days.
We often like to do things, catch a movie, go to the art gallery or a museum. We’ve done quite a few things together, and we usually like the same sort of movies… (well, to a degree anyway)
BUT TODAY WAS AN EXCEPTION
She is BANNED from picking another movie for 3 (yes that’s THREE) years!
When she initially said she wanted to see “Enchanted” or “Enchantment” or some other such silly sounding name, I got her to describe it. I read the review online and recognised it to be a “kiddie” movie. But was reassured (by her) that it’s for adults too! Right!
It started off with (what felt like) a 3 hour BAD cartoon… Poor story line, bad characters, general run-of-the-mill 5 year old stuff. She tells me, “But it will be a movie soon, it just starts as a cartoon…”EVENTUALLY! But she didn’t mention the fact that it would flash back to the cartoon or END with the cartoon as well!
And the Acting (if you could call it that!) was atrocious.
The point at which I REALLY knew I was in the wrong place, was towards the end when (in the style of sleeping beauty and other crappy fairy tales) I was watching the hap hazard Prince Charming give the princess-to-be a “True Love First Kiss” to wake her up…
But she didn’t. An evil twist would have been to have him keel over and die, but that’s just me. And it was the “REALITY” world lead actor who was the one who needed to kiss her. Anyway, as I was saying, the point at which I just wanted to lunge at the screen and start attacking it a knife was when her “True Love” leans over to kiss her… He stalls… His girlfriend looks up at him… sad… puppy dog eyes… and she tells him to kiss her…
And then so do all the kids in the cinema! 5 and 6 year olds screaming at the screen: “KISS HER!! KISS HER!!!”
I wanted to die. But realising I have much to live for, I wanted to kill my mother.
The only good thing about the whole experience was the fact that (being for kids) it was short!!! YAY!!!